10 Statements About Love and Respect

This weekend we attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference. It was a surprise arranged by Joe for my birthday, and I was glad to go. This is the sort of thing I used to dream he would initiate. On the other hand, I have read Dr. Eggerichs original book and have studied it closely to use in teaching at Mom Time. The concepts are completely biblical and I feel really comfortable with them. While I can totally lack in application at any given moment – the knowledge is there. So, I wasn’t sure, honestly if it might feel a little redundant. (terribly prideful, right?)

Anyway, it was an excellent conference. The material was presented extremely well and I feel like I learned / was reminded of a lot of great things.

In reference to that here are 10 takeaway statements from the weekend.

  1. Doing things well that we are good at is easy. Doing something that is difficult for us is a true test of God’s strength within and allows us to grow in Christ. Marriage is going to be hard.
  2. “Just because I am offended doesn’t mean that they were offensive.”  True. Often my feeling offended has more to do with the fact that they are saying something I didn’t want to hear than anything else.
  3. We cannot compare our strengths to someone else’s weakness and consider that fair. Of course our husbands don’t relate to us perfectly like a girlfriend would – they are men.
  4. Our culture teaches that respect must be earned, while love must be unconditional. This gives women permission to diss their husbands and treat them in a disrespectful manner, while expecting that their needs for love are to be met. This is a recipe for a disastrous marriage.
  5. We do the thing that seems reasonable to us – therefore women shower their men with love while ignoring their need to be respected.
  6. You should assume that your spouse is a good willed person who ultimately wants to please you. You didn’t get married because you hated each other, so you have to think back to how it was in the beginning and build on that.
  7. Who should go first in changing the crazy cycle? The one who is most mature.
  8. As women, we want to give the men all the responsibility and keep all the authority. If you can veto his vote – he isn’t really in charge.
  9. Men’s sin is straightforward and wrong. Women’s sin has all been explained and justified. He is unrighteous and she is a victim.
  10. Marriage is a tool and a test to demonstrate our love of God.

Anyone else familiar with this conference or read the book Love and Respect? What stood out to you?

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